We as human beings, are creatures of habit. We tend to stick to what we know, until we know it so well that it becomes second nature.
Sometimes we are so used to our norm that we forget there are other options available.
I know I am guilty of this, but what does that mean? Is doing this necessarily a bad thing?
In some cases, sticking to what we know is the best thing for us, it’s safer. We move comfortably and skillfully in areas we know. But more often than not, we unknowingly use our comfort zone as a fence – a fence to keep our own personal worlds in and the unknown out.
I have never been the type that is able to sit still for long periods of time. When it’s required of me to do so, I start to fidget, my mind goes everywhere, and I find myself getting anxious, the complete opposite of peaceful.
It’s easy to see why mediation was never something written on my bucket list. Just the thought of sitting in one place and purposely trying to think of nothing is enough to drive me insane, and I’m not about to willingly put myself through it. But, left and right I am bombarded with numerous articles and countless personal experiences promising the amazing benefits of mediation.
Meditation is known for its effects in the reduction of stress, anxiety, depression, insomnia and much more research is being done on meditation’s effect on cognitive function and even academic achievement. The motto goes, “it wouldn’t hurt to try,” but every fiber in my being tries convince me that it just might.
A studio near my apartment offers an hour long, instructor-led mediation class. After months of telling myself to try meditation just once, I finally willed myself into the studio last Sunday night. I made small talk with the instructor before the class began, and I found myself following him around the studio like a lost puppy.
I had no clue what I was doing.
How do I prepare to meditate? Do I stretch? Do I try and stay still, even though I knew that’s what I’d be doing for the next hour? I watched other students and copied them. We grabbed wool mats and sat quietly awaiting the directions from the instructor.
He rang a bell and class started.
The hour consisted of us sitting still with our legs folded, eyes closed and our hands facing upwards on our knees as the instructor guided us with words through three different breathing techniques. He rang a bell again, signaling the end of class.
After it was over, I breathed a sigh of relief, gathered my things, and left. It was exactly what I thought it would be, pure torture. Within the first 10 minutes, I felt my hip, leg and back muscles screaming.
The whole time the same thoughts cycled through my head – “Ow, my legs hurt. Don’t think about your legs hurting, but they hurt so much. Just try not to think about it.”
It was harder than actual yoga, because at least when Iʻm sore during yoga, my mind is distracted with moving through the routine.
Who knew meditation would be so hard?
Meditation was one of the most challenging things I’ve put myself through in a while. I am not new to yoga studios, but while being there I felt so awkward, alien and out of my element.
I grew extremely self conscious and even thought about leaving before the class began. But after it was over, I felt exhilarated. I did something challenging, broke boundaries and proved to myself that I can do more than what I thought I was capable of.
Purposefully seeking discomfort is the most rewarding self-induced torture I have ever taken part in. Although I am very proud of this new broken ground, I don’t think I will be returning to the meditation room, but, will instead find myself in new enterprises.
My hope is to employ the same courage in my newer endeavors.